There's no "right" way to cope with cancer. Each person handles the emotional challenges differently. Think about how you usually function in an emergency and expect to react the same way. It may help to understand the strengths that brought you through adversity before. Ask yourself whose support you usually count on in trying times, including family, friends, spiritual advisers and mental health professionals. Do what works for you. But if your reactions to crises generally interfere with your ability to function at home or at work, and you are unable to make treatment, family or workplace decisions, reach out to traditional or new support systems now.
What does Cancer mean to you?
Cancer triggers a terror different from most other diseases, even though they may have worse consequences. Any sense of doom you may have probably comes more from this historic dread than from the current realities concerning your type of cancer and its treatment. Cancer is not a death sentence for most people. It does not necessarily lead to helplessness, pain, disfigurement, disability or the end of your career. Accept that these exaggerated fears are normal, but do not let them prevent you from having a worrisome lump or symptom checked out or from deciding to undergo recommended treatment. And do not conclude that you will not have the energy or focus to pursue life goals. Most people find that their anxiety diminishes greatly once treatment begins and they are taking active steps to combat the disease.
Let it out
Express your feelings, no matter how awful or embarrassing they may seem to you. Keeping them bottled up may prevent you from moving beyond the distress. However, at work or at home, you may need to promote the image that you are in greater control than you may feel. In that case, you need to find a person you can trust or a safe place -- at a support group, in a therapy session with someone who has had cancer -- where you can vent your anger, fear, sadness and even those alternating hopeful and hopeless feelings. It may also help to find a quiet place to become aware of the full range of your emotions -- by meditating or writing in a journal, for example -- and to appreciate that you can get through this.
God is in control!
My favorite author, C.S. Lewis once said, “God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscious and shouts in our pain. It is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world.” And I could not agree more. My whole life prior to cancer, the Lord has been whispering to me, and at times even speaking to me, to remind me of His presence and love. But my diagnosis became like a megaphone, blaring the Lord’s love for all to hear. Christian and non-Christian friends alike all gathered to pray for me. The Lord had to constantly remind me that it is He who controls my life, not the doctors or the statistics I am facing each day.
Cancer has been a turning point in my life that I never could have dreamed of, and I know that my life will never be the same. But despite the hard times and the multitudes of tears, the Lord has been protecting me every step of this journey. Whether I live, and one day become cancer free, or I die, I know without a doubt that God is good, and that does not change based on my circumstances. For now, I can rest in the assurance that the Lord is looking out for me, and therefore I can simply strive to live life joyfully for every day that I am given.
Thank you all for your kindness and sensitivity.
Always in Gods Peace, Strength and Courage
Bo Morris
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