Strengthening the will

I find myself really wanting to live and live in the utmost of quality. I examine that statement to its end and find some interesting statements and discover some expressions so others might gleen.

I realize that the biology of cancer will dictate the course of events regardless of ones attitude and fighting spirit. However those people with positive attitudes are better able to cope with disease-related difficulties and perhaps respond, in a biologic sense, to therapy. The health care shift that has occurred over the last twenty years directs us understand that the psychological and the physical elements are not separate, isolated and unrelated but linked to the total system. Thus, there is a balance of many inputs that lead to the desire of a long and quality life span.

Bone pointing which is a phenomenon resulting in a paralytic fear, after learning the diagnosis of cancer. The person often withdraws from the world and await the inevitable end. In todays medicine, the person may often believe the diagnosis is a death sentence. However, the phenomenon of self-willed death is only as effective if the person believes in the power of the curse.

In the treatment of cancer many times people fail the first, second and third lines of therapy, then- with more advanced disease a fourth line of therapy provides a giant leap in response. In all things. one has to take risks if you want to win. to get a remission or recover with the best quality of life. Just the willingness to take a risk seems to generate hope and a positive atmosphere in which the components of the will to live are embraced.

The threat of death renews the appreciation of the importance of life, love friendship and all there is to enjoy. Often new possibilities are opened and risks are taken that there was no courage to take prior. Facing the uncertainties of living with an illness makes life more meaningful. The smallest of pleasures are intensified and much of the hypocrisy in life is eliminated.

A friend with cancer stated: "I love living, I love nature. Being outdoors, feeling the sun on my skin or the wind blowing against my body, hearing birds sing, breathing in the spray of the ocean. I never lose hope that I may somehow stumble upon or be graced with a victory against this disease."

 The great pyramid

 My two best buds, brother in law and sister in law. The very best!

 Egypt once again

Back home in Lexington. At the farms.

No News is Good News

Monday of this week, June 9 2014, labs were obtained and the CEA was crazy elevated. This led to a CT scan from head to lower abdomen. The results were surprising to say the least. The cancer in the liver has gotten bigger and several additional lesions were observed. The lung seemed to have several additional lesions as well. This changes the outcomes, at least the way I have hoped them to be. I suddenly remembered the statistics for survival with stage 4 colon cancer which happens to be 7-9% for 24-29 months. I must say that the word quality has a profound affect on my life at this moment.

Diet has helped change the way that I feel on a daily basis. This also has affected my quality of daily life. Juice plus supplements and shakes have proved adequate nutrients and the results have been more stamina and quicker recovery after chemo days. The chemo regime wastes a persons magnesium, calcium as well as potassium and often iv replenishment is required. Thus far the labs have been normal an no muscle, bone or renal damage observed.

My attitude toward this wrenching news, is one of not giving up the struggle to survive. I have a lot of energy and a God given will to live to the fullest. Defining living to the fullest is asking daily that the Lord will expand my understanding of Him so that His wisdom will enshrine in my heart. Living to the fullest brings to me a peaceful heart and a wonderful feeling of a healthy mind and body. 

I continue to be active with photography and am now pursuing aerial photography with a drone quadcopter. Presently learning to fly safely, I will post some unique photos next time.

 SI liked this one

 Greta with her future husband, July 26, 2014

 Sophia stretching out her wings

 A wonderful year of horse racing

 The UK Wildcats locker room. Great athletes

Inside the Winstar farms barn. An amazing place!

New Era of Drug Therapy

      January 2014, Judy and I went to Vanderbilt for consultation. During that time tissue was given for genome investigation. Recommendations have been given to my oncologist, Dr. Hicks, for me to receive an Epidermal growth factor receptor inhibitor (EGRF). This is targeted treatment. In the previous rounds I have received a anti-angiogenic factor inhibitor, Avastin, also a targeted therapy drug. This seemed to work for three months. I believe the literature points to that fact as well. Avastin was given not knowing the genome associated with the cancer. The literature points to the fact that Avastin might even promote the growth of the cancer if the genome is not targeted. At this point we are not sure if it helped or hurt.

      Presently, I feel assured that an EGRF inhibitor is the right direction to travel. Not without consequences however. Erbitux was given 2 weeks ago. I felt fine after treatment but on the way home I began to vomit and did not stop for 6 hours. Nevertheless, I was placed in the hospital for the night. I received Vectibix, a brother of Erbitux yesterday. This decision came not because of the side effect I experienced but because of the weekly regimen. I preferred ever other week so Judy and I could have somewhat a life. Fortunatly there has been no N/V, only an expected facial rash, in which, 90% of patients get when taking an EGRFI.

      Family and friends and church friends continually pray and believe that God will show mercy and heal me of this cancer. Christ is our passover lamb sacrificed for us! Through Him, we too are strengthened and can receive total healing, spirit, soul and body! I Cornth 5:7

      I still take pictures for sanity. Recently, I went to Winstar farms in Lexington, along with their photographer, Tammy Brown.

      This shot is of Super Saver, the 2010 Kentucky Derby winner. Just a few of 600 taken that day. More to come!

Regression- Depression- Recovery-Next- Rounds of Scans, Labs and more news

       July 2013 began a different and unexpected road to travel. Wandering about the years gone by and appreciating the people and events encountered, I found myself tearful even at the simplest of thoughts. Attempting to convince myself that being diagnosed five months earlier, and withstanding this horrible nausea, vomiting and severe weakness, has produced a more gentle side of my life. Needless to say I did not want to participate in any activity. I could not think of positive reminiscence, nor think of any future events. That is when I quit writing the blog.

       Reading about depression was about all I could do. I certainly could not talk about it. My family knew something was not right and friends could not see past the smile and forced joviality. I could not be around people very long. What was happening? This was a new chapter in my life and I thought I was prepared for anything. After all, I felt I had been molded through the years of study and practice of Medicine, producing the tools to handle all turmoil.

       Chemotherapy agents are poisons aimed at killing what makes the tumor grow and invade. Well how-di-doody, it affects the good cellular structures also. I took a six week hiatus from therapy and my mind and body recovered. I noticed a clarity of thinking and an old familiar friend- me. It was good to climb out of the shell, speak freely and just be myself. Thank goodness those around me understood.

       The road to recovery from depression, as I discovered, was seemingly backward from most. Since the most effective treatment is antidepressants I refused to take them because of the potential damage to the liver. Many times these agents will trick the oncologist because of the increase of Liver transaminases. Unnecessary testing will occur, as well as, extended worry. The traditional chemical imbalance responsible for depression, and in my case, was chemotherapy agents stealing my energy and causing many hours alone and in bed. One can imagine the amount of unfinished and often confused hopeless thought patterns one develops.

       A trip to Vanderbilt University, to discover genome targeted therapy, was a trip indeed. The first observation was that the health information systems communicated with all departments and patients traveling through the system were recognized and all the data gathered was conveyed via a private patient portal. This was so refreshing to not give your general information again and again to each department. After several tests and giving blood samples for tissue/genome analysis the trip back to Kentucky was welcomed.

       Several CT scans later have shown a few lung lesions that are suspicious for metastasis. a VATS procedure was performed and metastasis it is. This changed the whole ballgame. Liver resection was completely out of the equation, which would have essentially placed me into remission, thus chemotherapy was stepped up. I was very familiar with the lifestyle that these agents placed me into.
News from Vanderbilt came at a good time and recommended changing the regimen to a single agent known as Erbitux (EGFR) an epidermal growth factor receptor blocker. Imagine the side effects and you will be correct. Even though targeted therapy has forwarded the science of cancer therapy enhancing the longevity of colon cancer patients is on the horizon but not at the present.

       All along the six or seven months that I have not written in the blog I have managed to accomplish several things. I finished a Masters degree in Hospital Administration. I found myself glued to my cameras for the Kentucky wildcats. Shooting a full season of football and basketball, on the sidelines, was remarkable. Over 60,000 pictures taken and many great memories of coaches, fans great athletes. Not to mention the overwhelmingly talented and gifted photographers who get the immense opportunity to shoots these great events year after year.

       I plan to regularly place a blog on the events of my continued journey. This is a privilege to bring to everyone news about a journey filled with turns and events. My faith in God is first and foremost and He is in total control.